woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
