i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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