Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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