he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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