my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
