zippers are such a cool invention
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
