Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drive I can fine osifer
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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