This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
