He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
