I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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