My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
