And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
