I seem to have left my pride at pride
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
