Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
this boner is exhausting
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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