I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
