just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
