Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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