covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
