Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
