Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
