Need sex. Gaining weight.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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