the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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