like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
