Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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