That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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