i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
