I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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