At least make sure they are 18
Why
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
