I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
