This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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