One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
