dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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