I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
