before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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