She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
