Porn is love you can see.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
