Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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