smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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