i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
