just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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