hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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