Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
