Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
