it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
