i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
