This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
