Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
