I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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