I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
