Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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